Here’s what you need to do. Gulp down as many shots of Jack as you can hold, fall flat on your ass, and when you finally wake up from the drunken stupor, those freaky dreams you had while you were out wouldn’t even come close to what went down tonight on Z Nation. And, no, I’m not drunk either as I write this. Viewers have been speculating for days about how things would play out in tonight’s season 1 finale, who would die, and what gigantic cliffhanger we would we left with for months on end, but something this shocking and warped could only come out of the crazy,creative heads of Karl Schaefer, Craig Engler, and the Z Nation team of writers in some isolated back-room in Spokane, WA. And, with some of the lame mid-season finales we’ve seen lately (cough, cough, I won’t even mention another zombie show here, cough, cough), trust me when I saw this is a good thing.

Colorado Is The New California — NOT!

I love Citizen Z (DJ Qualls), I really do, but as soon as he switched the group’s orders and had them head to another lab in Ft. Collins, I knew they were screwed. Super-smart geeks like that have to make a mistake every once in a while, but man, this was a humdinger. They were sent there to find Dr. Merch (Lisa Coronado), and while there was evidence she had been there and even administered what was likely the first prototype of the zombie virus vaccine, she was nowhere to be found (and my guess long dead by now).

So no Dr. Merch but what they do find is one hell of a freak show. Like everywhere else, there’s plenty of zombies to go around, but these aren’t just your ordinary Z’s. These things are souped-up, pumped-up, I’m talking mutant zombies on steroids. Some of them are found just roaming the lab, but a few are locked in cells with IV’s, heart monitors and a whole slew of other gizmos still attached to them — obvious indicators that the doctors at this lab had been experimenting on people for quite a while and trying to find a cure for the zombie virus.

Besides our group of survivors, the only other living person in the entire facility is a Dr. Kurtz — who actually isn’t Dr. Kurtz but a pretty nasty imposter. The real Dr. Kurtz is a humanitarian and even created vaccines for the HIV and Ebola viruses, but in the end, I suspect he was one of those rotting corpses (nice cameo for Erik Andersen, one of the writers and editors for the show) we saw at the birthday celebration at the beginning of the episode (ironically, it was his own birthday party). The imposter is a real piece of work, a Dr. Kurian (Donald Corren). Dr. Kurian is a bioweapons developer and the same creep we saw in the opening scene and who had been traveling the globe for over 3 years prior to the outbreak, searching for the perfect biological weapon that could morph troops in the field into drones. Now, that would certainly explain a lot of things, especially Murphy’s (Keith Allan) newly-found mind-controlling abilities in the last episode. And, of course, it explains why Dr. Kurian desperately wants Murphy and refuses to leave the compound without him.

Commando Cassandra Drinks The Murphy Kool-Aid

We had been teased that we would lose one of the survivors in this episode, and for a good part of the episode, it really looked like Cassandra (Pisay Pao) had drawn the short straw. We already knew she had hurt her leg, and now, she had a nasty infection that was not getting any better. Yes, Cassandra was dying, and everyone was saying their good-byes — including Murphy.

Well, Murphy was *supposed* to say his good-byes, but does Murphy ever listen to anybody? You know, when we were told that Murphy would make a “startling discovery” about a new ability in the last episode, I actually thought he would learn that he could do something miraculous like heal or cure cancer, etc. Well, it turns out I wasn’t too far off.

We already knew that Murphy’s blood could cure the zombie virus and also it has mind-controlling implications as well. However, apparently it can do far more than that because after a bite on Cassandra’s check, she was completely cured and morphed into a half-zombie badass. Just when Kurian and his 2 thugs are about to open fire, Commando Cassandra breaks down the door to the lab, sacrificing herself and giving everyone else the chance to get away.

Well, almost. Doc (Russell Hodgkinson) is shot in the process, and yes, I totally freaked when it first happened. Doc can’t die! I mean the guy must be invincible because he survived being thrown down an air shaft with a live grenade, right? Regardless, he’s able to get out of that death trap of a lab, regains consciousness, and while I could be delusional, my gut says he’ll survive.

Nuke ‘Em All!

So, at this point you probably think that things couldn’t possibly get any worse, right? Well, hold on to your knickers, folks, because it’s about to hit the fan. By this time, Murphy can see that Dr. Kurian is a crack pot and wants nothing more than to get the hell out of dodge and so much so that he’s willing to leave everyone else behind.

The guy completely bolts and in the process breaks through the lab’s fail-safe barriers which in turn initiates a terrible chain reaction. In the event that someone leaves the lab without being decontaminated (like Murphy did), a nuclear warhead is launched to destroy the facility. In this case, a lot more than that happens, with several other nukes being launched and heading straight for Citizen Z at the North Pole.

Yikes!! While we did not officially lose anyone (yet) in this episode, the finale ends with just about everyone in peril. Citizen Z is watching a missile heading straight for him. Cassandra is still in the lab fighting Kurian’s zombified soldiers, and a missile is heading for her too. Doc is bleeding out. Heck, the only 2 people who at least appear to be fine are Mack and Addy (yes, Mack and Addy! WTF?!) who still seem to be at Helen’s Garden of Eden in Utah.

However, the biggest question is what in the hell is going to happen to Murphy? We saw what happened to the lab tech, Doyle, who was patient zero and got the first prototype of the vaccine. He was reduced to nothing but mush in the end, and Murphy actually did the unthinkable and gave him mercy. Is Murphy destined for the same fate? That disgusting scene at the end of Murphy shedding his skin certainly doesn’t give us any positive vibes.

Completely blown away? Yep, I told you it was crazy! Now, for the hard part — the waiting game. No more Z Nation for a good 8 or 9 months. Sigh. But, no worries — no not really. There were so many twists and so many possibilities that came from this episode that it’s going to take the viewers that long to process everything that happened and get even a clue of what may be next.  Maybe by next Fall we’ll actually be ready to see the next chapter in our heroes’ crazy journey.

Z Nation returns for season 2 in 2015.